Time

As days drip in to weeks, I still wonder what I'm doing here. Things repeat themselves and fold backwards over eachother, an endless whirl-pool of constant madness.

What walls become smeared with fingerprints and dents from angered residents, how long until we see the red flowing?

She talks softly, sometimes too softly for me to even hearher, but still, in my mind, I can make out the words, and I know she misses me just as much as I miss her, but I'm too scared to tell her how I feel.

The marks expand, a filter for the lies, as the smoke rises and ashes fall, and she sings the ancient lullaby derived from the song sung at her fathers funeral.

A cardboard copy of a person, and she mocks me, she knows I'm just a fake. Teary eyes of molten lava, a most wonderful experience to be shared with the folk of the desolate hallway, light trailing off in to nowhere.

And there I will walk.
As days fall in to months, I feel the centuries wash over me, a waterfall of time, eternal...

I scream out, but you were not there.

And as time falls over itself, I feel the changes inside of me burtsting forward in a stream of transcendant light.

You are so beautiful.

And there I had been.

Mindsnap

It happened.
Only problem is, I'm not sure what.
But there is no way of putting it other than a complete 'snap' in that imaginary thing we all pretend exists, the mind.
Maybe it has something to do with the acid. But God help me, I can't get enough! Being scrambled to the extent in which you can not deny it, constant, churning loops of nonsense whirring past your eyes. Even if I lose my mind before I'm twenty, what a better way to do it!

I always have so much in my mind. Currently, I'm wondering why I other thinking, but I can not stop. I can not stop tuning in and dropping out. It hurts, it confuses, what is the sense in this madness?

I'm becoming more and more what I should be. Not what I want to be, what I really am, or what I need to be, but honestly, what I should be.

But, I don't know what that is...
But this changing... I feel so disconnected.

It's unnatural, it hurts me.
But I know I must do it.

Wish me luck.