Monday, January 18, 2010

Too much drunk.

I remember thinking, "Everyone is so fucked up". Blank. I'm on the bed, and I'm thinking "I'm so fucked up".

Now I'm thinking, if I remembered everything I ever thought, I'd have no time to think.

There's something wrong, he can tell, because he's poking me and I'm not even slashing his arm off. I've just drained myself of all my energy, because dear Dakota's life is in danger. I have no energy for smiles.

I'm thinking about all the times we discussed whether or not we'd fuck Dakota, I'm thinking about his adorable face bringing Krys half my bra as she thought about a lack of my presence, I'm thinking about wrestling with him on the loungeroom floor.

It's all drunk now, half-way there, on the way to the bottle'o to stock up on rescources, Aaron's drunk driving hilarious. Come back, everyone is fucked, I've got some catching up to do. Dylan's jug of every possible alcohol? Perfect.

Drink bitch, drink, me thinks. And I start thinking about how totalled Dylan will be once he's finished with that jug. I start thinking I'm catching up pretty fast, here.

"You should gemme some coke 'n' bourbon". "Why?". "Be a gentleman". "I am a gentleman, to my lady". "Well I'm your lady's lady, doesn't that count for anything?". I'm far gone by now, strolling through the door, Jarheads bourbon in coke down the ol' throat hole. He's far too impressed to be pissed off that I drank so much of it.

I'm thinking, Lane's music collection is missing just Dog Fashion Disco, one step away from perfection. I remember my legs shaking, in absolute euphoria as Maynard James Keenan's voice erupts from the speakers.

This is where is gets a bit hazy. I'm i the side-room, chatting to Dylan and Sir Droopy, skulling back beers with Jack. Surely I've learned I can't keep up with Jack? Blank.

I'm thinking, I'm so fucked, as I shove my hands down my throat out front. Excess alcohol. I'm thinkig, oh, here's the green-shirted faggot I was making fun of earlier, thank you kind sir for escorting me to the bathroom and feeding me water from your hands. I'm thinking, I'm going to die, I'm not going to wake up.

Five or six odd guys are holding back my hair. "You're okay, we'll look after you. Water? Bucket? Toilet paper? OSHI-, hold her hair!! Hold her hair!!". Last words I'm hearing are "I don't know why you wear a corset, you're skinny as fuck!", from somebody's mouth as he removes my corset.


Goodmorning world, I feel like shit. I only ever get hangovers from beer... I don't remember drinking beer. Hell, I don't remember a whole lot.
"I was so fucked last night", I say to the fellow beside me.
"Don't worry, everyone did. You missed so much, Aaron and Lane got into a fight".
Morning kisses, morning yack, morning water later...

"All right, who powerchucked over my linen closet?"
Thankfully, I managed to get all my excess alcohol in a bucket, outside, or in the toilet. I am innocent of this crime.
"Hey Aaron, last night when you were totalled, you said "Dylan, I have one thing to say to you... I love lamp".
All-mighty grin in place. "Oh my God. I said that!? I... am... epic!".

I'm on the phone to Krys. "Dude, I got so wasted last night. Haha, I can get drunk again!"
"Did you cry over -database error- again?"
"No, I didn't, actually! I just yacked everywhere instead!"
"Ferret didn't cry over -database error-? That's a first."

I'm in town, Jack's flesh is in my mouth, his arm threatens to crush my throat. "Do you really want to do that?", he asks. I shake my head, not intending to get bit back, releasing, 'forgive me', dashing to the otherside of the park.
Multiple tickle-rapes later, I decide to be clever and make a ninja roll onto the otherside of Dylan to escape his hold, CRACK, knee splits on concrete.
Everyone stops, "Are you okay?".
I mutter 'ow' between hysteric laughter.

And then heart-wrenching boy decided to rock up. I haven't seen this cunt in a while. He makes his entrance, I am ignored. He makes his departure, I am ignored. After all this time, he can't even acknowledge my presence. I can't help but feel slightly hurt.

It gets morbid from here, deaths happened, buildings exploded, fires started, someone an hero'd because of a lack of coke, shit went down... That, or I cbf writing anymore because to tell the truth, I felt like shit the rest of the night and slept the majority of the following day.

Lesson 1. Don't drink with Jack.
Lesson 2. Don't ever think somebody might actually care for you when you are truley of no importance.
Lesson 3. TOO MUCH DRUNK. ("You mean, you drank too much last night").

Sunday, January 17, 2010


I was going to write a blog all about my weekend with my friends, cool cunts they are, totally enjoy chillin' and drinkin' and wrestlin' with them. Aw yeah.

However. I kind of just realised the only reason we're friends is because one of them thinks I'm attractive and wants me in the pants.

So me and my dearly beloved best female friend are invited to chill with some guys who are wicked shit, bro...

Turns out the only reason why is so the two single guys of the group will have something to fuck.

We're both in tricky situations, here. It is our belief that if she and her current man break up for whatever reason, she'll become one of the exes the group bitches about. If I do NOT hook up with this guy who wants me in the pants, I'm no use to them.

Let me see...

Oh, 'myyyy ferrrrri' decided to call me just to hear the sound of my voice. I haven't seen him for a entire week. KEEP YOUR DAMN PAWS OFF, or I aint gawna see you for a lot longer than that!

An old 'friend' of mine appears to have not even established friendship with me, because OLAWD, I saw him for the first time in a couple months, NOT A WORD TO ME HE SPOKE. Guy can't even acknowledge my presence... Hah, and then I get a text. 'Should have said hi, have a good night, ect...", which was slightly uplifting until I gathered the only reason he sent it was because a friend of mine heard how hurt I was by his act of ignoring and must have mentioned it to him.

Oh, and then there's the tool 'sir droopy' who I keep accidentally hooking up with when I'm drunk, because he's far more emotionally/mentally/physically drunk when I am. I wake up and have to slap myself a few times.


There is one guy... :) But I aint getting my hopes up, those things always get crushed. But hey, he likes quantum physics, Anne Rice vampire movies, Waking Life and conspiracy theory. Which is cool. He's a little younger than I'd usually go, you see, but that's excusable. Plus, he makes me laugh like a motherfucker.

Anyways... the thought of him made me happy. So I can no longer rant. I might come back and talk about that awesome weekend I had.


Monday, January 11, 2010

Fuck the Ferri.

I don't even care.

Doof party in the bush, dammit.

All this talk of love and lust... I'm tired of filling my head with such bullshit.

"Could travel the world, fight a million battles and still never find the Ferri's secret places, untouchable". Yeah, buddy, and let us keep it that way.

Oh, and as for "If anyone were to so much as touch you, I would kill them, send armies after them, and blow up the whole town. No one goes near the Ferri". This is excessive.

For example, a certan male you threatened? There is NOTHING he could do to me I wouldn't forgive him for, and there is NOTHING you could do to make me forgive you if you ever fucking touched him, you God damn MACHO MAN.

"Oh, my Ferri, let me tell you some more lies". Every word you speak is such. Leave me alone. That night, while you were so happy HOLDING me to you and refusing to release, I could've been in HIS arms, where I wanted to be.

Him looking at me like he hasn't looked at me for so long... And you said "Too bad, next tme you should be quick, now I am spending time with the Ferri". I guess you made him aware I could be taken from him forevermore, but if so, it will not be you who does this.

Oh and, I'm glad my 'perfectly proportioned body' makes you happy, and you don't care what say because you just love the sound of my voice, and all you ever wanted is me on your lap.

I'm sorry that I make you ache, and that your love grows stronger each time we meet, but in this case, I'll just have to stop being molested by you, since hanging out with you causes yo so much pain and you can't keep your damn hands off.

And it's not just you, my ganja smoking friend, I'm simply SICK of being the center of attention. There is nothing about me worth everyones fucking attention, I can't have a casual nights fuck without hurting half the guys I know.

I don't want your love, nobody's.

Fuck love. I'm sick of hurting people I never wanted to have feelings for me anyway.

Sorry for disappointing you all.

Dreams of Truth.

Once again, and the medicine man is hovering about my dreams.
He once told me in my sleep-state, I needed to be of having one of those four-legged grey furballs, else my spirituality would be corrupt. This is indeed how I fell across my dearest kitty-purr, Phi.

Now, he says to me 'Ferret, this will blow your mind'.
Alas, the universe fnally beleves I am ready indeed for the dearest dimiti.
Or wrong, I'm so excited, and the medicine man seems to forget all about it...

Too bad.

I can't even inhale the sweet angel breath in a dream.

'Oh, but Ferret, you always knew it would be ME who gave you your first experience, and you've been ready for a long while, I've just been being mean', says the devil incarnated.

Cheers, brother.

Happy fucking New Year.

-Ringtone obliterates silence-
Shut up.

I'm over your calls, Happy Fucking New Year, leave me in peace so I can discuss Waking Life over straight Beam a little, and no, there is no way in hell I am coming to that damn party, I don't care how drunk you are, or how drunk I could get, I'm here, and I'm here to stay.

You want me so bad, come and get me.
-Mobil3 phone switches off-

I treasure that you love me so dearly as to wish me a good follow-up of the 09, after such harsh words were shared ust days before, and I'm glad you, good sir, thought of me yet again. What is this picture missing? Ah, tears, of course. Well let us duck outside for a quickie, while everyone fights over the tastiest of alcohol, no one will notice I'm gone, crying over your stupid face, YET AGAIN!

Why does this continue to happen? Hmm. Maybe I've been drinking.
-Lights cigarette-.

And what pleasures and pains shall this year bring? What more could this ol' corpse o' mine possibly endure? I hear you all mutter-tutter about this and that, everyone reading out their written words to one another, as we discuss everything under the blazing sun that no longer exists at 30 past 1, and surely hasn't existed for a good few hours, and mayhaps shall not return by morn.

To us, to this moment, to change, to everything. Yeah, yeah, pour another drink.
-Chasing grey kittens through the house-.

And here I am, beside some yet-to-be-knighted, head buried in cushion, cat-scratched thighs. The sun chases my vision, our fellow blessed-be-the-living long-since retired to the sanctuary of hibernation. I can feel a sickness inside me, and my gut hurts from laughing. I'm snuggled up against flesh, ohai, how do you do on this fine morn?

I can remember thinking, your face is terribly close to mine.
-Shuffles under heated blankets-.

Oh there there, it's not so bad, think of all the good you can cause, think of the children! All those children of colour and crystal... Shit, I almost forgot to care for things such as these, I was far too busy day-dreaming about being asleep, and then I remembered I was asleep so I started to imagine what it would be like to be awake. So we're discussing Waking Life again, over the blankets, sunlight is blinding. Welcome to the new waste of time.

So I was thinking, and I thought, what the fuck am I thinking? Happy fucking New Year.
-Ends story-.