Friday, July 31, 2009

Newest Gameshow. 4

What is this, you ask? I'm terribly sorry, I thought I was on stage? Isn't this the set for... Oh nevermind, nevermind, I'm havin difficulties adjusting to the situation. I thought somewhere, in a book, or a t.v series, maybe a movie, it was illegal to do this? Or at least very bad, and we'll be discredited for our behaviour?
"You're not wrong, the t.v show you speak of is life".
Oh, that'd be it. Stupid, stupid me. Why must I continue to do this? Get it all mixed up... It's not fair, AND LOOK OUT, I HAVE SWINE FLU!
"You're not allowed to sleep, keep drinking t3h g00nz".
But I simply can not! You see, while under the influence of influenza I find it difficult to stand upon my own two feet! It makes a fool of man, really. So, of course, I must rest.
"That is a valid reason, not an excuse, I shall have none of eet".
Oh must you hold me in the air like so? It's terribly -oh my- harsh on the stomach. OH MY. Wonderful, fantastic, a bed at last, soft and warm and --- ooooh!
"Mind if I join ye?"
Well... Cigarette?
"You have an amazing body, HOLD EET, HOLD EET! Maybe we shoulda waited 'til they left..."
It isn't fair... And OH LAWD YOU HAVE TEH SWINE FLU! I'm terribly sorry :3.
"T'was worth it, indeed. Any tea?"
No, sir, no tea. Just that kiss goodbye, thanking you.

Placebo :D

They're pickin' up pieces of me,
While they're pickin' up pieces of you.
In a bag you will be, before the day is over.
Were you looking for somewhere to be.
Or looking for someone to do.
Stupid me, to believe that I could trust in stupid you.
And on the tip of my tongue,
Were, words that came out all wrong.
'Cause they were drowned in Southern Comfort,
Left to dry-out in the Sun,
The noon-day Sun.

Don't leave me here, to pass through time,
Without a map, or road sign.
Don't leave me here, my guiding light,
'Cause I,
wouldn't know where to begin.
I asked the Kings of Medicine,
But it seems that they've lost their powers.
Now all I'm left with is the hours.

Monday, July 20, 2009


I found something precious, something everlasting, eternal, forever.
You know, if only I could reach that... MOMENT in sober world... I would be whole.
Tripping bawlz in a bathroom, one guy complaining that he was bored, the other talking about what we should do tomorrow, and a girl whining about the cold... And I'm going 'Forget tomorrow, just BE. In this moment".
I'm not sure how to describe it, but I belonged to the way things were. I was without need or want, I was barely alive but... So... Perfect. It was simply... ALL THAT IS.

Why fuss and complain, why constantly ache and shift, bitch and whine? We can be whole, so happy, just in the moment, content with everything. The past does not exist, nor does the future, there is simply that moment and everything that it is... Just melting into the isness. Melting into the moment.

Why, can I only achieve this beautiful thing under the influence of psychedelic drugs?

I suggest next time you nom acid, you close your eyes, forget about the situation... No distractions. You'll find you do not NEED anything, you do not WANT anything... You just are, and it is perfect, the most whole and happy you will ever be...

I found something precious...
I had to leave it, after staring at grass and trees and lights and sky... All so BEAUTIFUL. Perfect, everything... NOBODY appreciated it as I did. I had to leave it, to find the world ugly and torn, more horrible than I had ever seen it before and I exhaled my moment.

I found something precious, and I'm afraid I've packed it away again... I want to go back, and stay there, want it to last. God fucking dammit, I just want to be!

I nearly poofed out of existance, I mean, for sure. But they kept distracting me, because they are humans. And, you know the thing aout humans? So unsatisfied. CONSTANTLY looking for something or someone to make them happy. SO UNSATISFIED. If they hadn't kept touching me and talking to me, I'd... have... made it... At last.

So close. I want to go back to my moment.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


Lol. Just scanned through old posts. And I think... WOW. I WAS SUUUUUUUCH A FAGGOT!
Gimme a couple of months and I'll be saying that same thing. :D Progress is win, I think.
K, going to go on a little journey now.
Just thought I'd post this so I can lol at this post in a few months tiem. K. Bai nao.

Monday, July 13, 2009


My pretty little fucker, NOT YOURS.
I wanna deliver a pretty chainsaw blow to the cranium!!!
MINE, ye hear? YE HEAR?
I hope you do.
This is srs bsns.
You made me very, very ANGRY.

What's good?

Skyfire Ace - Sabrepulse - Chipbreak Wars.
Yes. This is.
From nao on, the world shall be composed of black metal, industrial, indie/alternative, psy-trance, hardstyle, nintendocore/chipbreak, prog. and circus metal and nothing but. K.
To make the world of music a better place. :D
Listen to Skyfire Ace. It shall blow yer mind, dardz.

Little soldier.

Do you remember... anything?
The alley way, 4.oo in the fucking morning, little soldier... You told me everything.
Why, have you gone and done this to yourself?
The alley way, and we were sipping tea, and you smiled and said you'd never change.
Now it's 1.oo in the fucking morning and I just spent an hour staring into your fucking empty face.
What the fuck are you?
You're gone now, because I told you I missed you, little soldier...
I'll eat your babies, bro.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Perfectly Flawed.

(8)If you do this you'll never have a chance to try again.
You're perfectly flawed.
You're perfectly incomplete.
Like cracks in the glass
And faded photographs.
A disguise of self-deception
Hides my secrets perfectly.
I'm rejecting my reflection'
Cause I hate the way it judges me.
Don't you do it - you're not even you yet.
Don't you do it - you're not even you yet. (8)
(l) Otep (l)

Dearest, you.

Back in the day...

Nostalgia eats at your soul.

Here, now, in the build-up of nothing. With no one here to kill, no one here to fuck. The point of no return.

Don't fall down, little soldier. Remember forever what we had, back in the day, in our little rose garden. Don't give up, little soldier. Someone out there is watching you intently, waiting for you to crack. Waiting for you to lose the game. (lol, sorry).

Here, now, in this burning building... Watch the walls cave in, liquid fire composing this disaster... No one left to crash and burn. No return.

But save the kitten, little soldier. It will only take a moment of your time. To try and understand the mess I created here, now, in the burning building. Take your time, and think of the serpent, think of Exitland, think of the spider dance, think of ward 23, the stars, the cups of tea...

Think back, back in the day.

I am creating an entire universe, a new galaxy to replace this burning building. So don't worry, I'm still sorry, but it must come down.

'The feeling' is ever near. I am creating an entire fucking galaxy inside my mind, let me project it. Let me deliver it to you, little soldier. It's all I ever wanted.

I know you're feeling hollow, but I still love you. Sometimes you have to let go of things when you care...

I still see the scenario... I still see us on mountain tops, hand in hand, reaching for the stars as the sky falls down.

Never forget it, little soldier, you are my missing piece and I won't leave you behind.

Come back to me when you're good and ready.

Sincerely, Miss Conflicted.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Alice in Exitland.

Join the stars?! Oh, would I ever!
Will you not come dance with us?
Maybe if I reach a little higher, tiptoes, that's right, AM I DOING IT RIGHT!?
You never seem to change.
You mournful soul, you slipped out of the gateway world... This world is not for us, is it?
No, it is not, now tilt your head, and look up!
Mmmm, I can feel the melody running through me, it's sooooo nice!
Well now, welcome the silence. We're only stopping by for a cup of tea. Tick, tick, tick, tock.
Take me with you, won't you? Don't leave me here... Take me with you, m'dear.
You've never really been here at all, m'love.
Oh, but any old sould could've told us that!
My little Alice.
Oh, you. Pretty, yet so sad... My violin amongst the stars with skin so soft and eyes so emerald!
Then let us go, m'dear.
Are you ready? Hold my hand.
I love you.

I shat universal brix.

I'm not going to deny being scared, because, I shat brix, but...

I figured it out. Everything and nothing. All mine.
All. That. Is.
I'll catchya later, guys, I'll be running the doofs amongst the stars.
You'll know me when you see me.
Oh, and...
I speak in quotes, lyrics and metaphors. Nothing I say is for certain, and nothing I say quite makes sense, say, like a clock. Nothing I say is quite as powerful, say, like a clock. Nothing I think can be predicted, say, like a clock.
But I do rule the world, just so you know.
This is me, coming back with answers.
Time is a great teacher.
I mean, this isn't a metaphor, for once. This being, Time himself, quite literally taught me everything.
Time, life, God, power, matter, science, law, drugs, earth, stars...
All. That. Is.
"Maybe I'll visit you in exit land some day... some day.... some day".

Sunday, July 5, 2009


Her face, like ice. I could see every crack in her melting physique. Some illness painting her pretty so she'd never know. Frail body structure, bones ramming the oxygen in awkward angles.
Her eyes, like tombstones. I could see every crack in her fading story. Some thousand bodies hanging in the basment, left to drip, drip, drip. She tried to tell me there was only her.
I tried to get her to kneel down, tried to get her to suffocate in my hands, tried to feed her a little more of the porcupine tree so she'd submit.
Her face, so hollow, as she glared up at me, eleven fourty seven, light and dark, making shadows play off her empty flesh.
A strange sound, every time she tramples past, a rip,a tear somewhere inside, selling her soul, hocking her hole.
She tramples past with her army of whores, a brush of her soft, silken hand against your face bringing you diseases.
And as time goes by, wasting moments to the watching of a clock, revenge is ever near.
Every little detail becomes an entire fucking galaxy.
Music playing, sex songs, because she's filthy, so filthy. Red lips, red hair, pale skin, green eyes. She never looked so good, and I've never wanted her more.
Take your mannequin and fuck her furiously, cut her up, fill her up, she'll cry for more.
She knows now, time to die, time to die, time kills us all. We are all so fucked. Fuck her furiously. Cut her up, fill her up, she'll beg for more.
Little bitch, bleeding on the the bathroom floor, fucking whore. You've gone and done this to yourself again, are you even capable of standing up?
I tried to hold her wounds together but she tore at her flesh and begged me for more.
Insert the pick behind her lids, reduce her to all she is, mannequin.
Her face, like ice. I could see every crack in her melting physique. Some illness painting her prettty so she'd never know.

Good luck.

Light and movement, we're in good company.
Keep repeating that to make up for the dodgy treats and find you have the best night of your life. Many thanks, this memory will be cherished forever and ever.
His kiss goodbye injected me with happiness, and removed the 'forced sanity' I've been holding. Now I'm what I was before. I guess he saw it was time. I'll wait another three months until I'm struggling hard, and he'll rip me out of it, just in time.

To the people I've found, you are simply beautiful. Thank you.
To the people I've left behind, I'll miss you, good luck.

His kiss will leave you begging for more, crying at his door, legs spread like a whore, heart cracked and sore.

Deja vu, bitch?
Your story is a fucking loop.

I'll miss you, good luck.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

I'm working on something really big.
Once I'm finished, it'll be fabulous, but for now...
We're strugglin' hard.

I've had several audiences and not a single complaint, I think I'm finally on the right track.

Gooday sir.