Friday, October 2, 2009

Self -preservation.

"How are you feeling today?"
"Interesting, how?"
"Well, the way my mind is working at this moment is... getting me very intrigued. When this happens, I get too distracted by myself to pay much attention to the outside world".
"Living in your own world, huh?"
"Yes, I'm sure things aren't at all how I think they are".
"They are to you though".
"So, what have you been doing with yourself?"
"Mmm... Nothing, and everything".
"I'm sorry, but could you be a little more exact with your answers?"
"Well, aren't you meant to be figuring me out?"
"Yes, I am, but you're meant to be helping me".
"And how do I do that?"
"By making my job as easy as possible. Tell me as much as you can, it helps me to gather the information I need, and helps you get things of your chest".
"Well, I guess. But... It's just..."
"What is it?"
"I'm not sure I can trust you".
"Believe me, I don't trust you either. You are a sociopathic criminal with a blood-thirst and an LSD corrupted mind..."
"Hah. And you're some perfect, well paid, goodie fucking two-shoes analysing me and thinking you can fix me by giving me a fucking diagnonsense".
"Yes. That could very well be the case. We don't even have to be friends, because I don't like you a whole lot, and I know you are staring at my neck with thoughts of tearing my throat out".
"How did you know that, then?"
"Because I understand psychology. I have been seeing you for several months now, I should have a basic understanding".
"I suppose".
"I also know you're feeling a little ashamed, like you've already said too much because I know too much. You forget that silence is an answer as well. Fear, guilt, anxiety, nervousness... To name a few things you're probably feeling right now".
"Uh huh. Keep going, you seem to be doing well, Mr. fucking fantastic".
"You're getting angry now because you don't want me in your head. You know I'm reading you like a book it makes you fearful that you can't hide a thing".
"I always thought my mind was a safe place".
"Well it is, generally. It's a safe place to hide from everything bar yourself".
"Yes. So here we are. Do you even want to be here?"
"No, but I have to be. You fucked up. I think you should put down the gun".
"Why? You're right, I'm a fuck up. Why not just... End my life?"
"Because that would be stupid. You'd be letting them all win".
"Right. You're right".
"I know I am. So put it down".
"Fine. But only because I know you secretly want me to kill myself".
"You're goling to stay alive out of spite? Tough guy".
"Don't anger me. Or I will do it, and that means you die too, buddy".
"Fine, fine. I'll leave you alone for now. I'll be back with your medication".
"Fuck you".
"I love you too".

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