Monday, February 15, 2010


The cigarettes aren't comforting anymore.
They tell me I'm a bad influence.
They tell me if I take her away, they'll hate me forever.
They tell me if I leave her behind, I'll hurt her more than anything.
The cigarettes are burning, and the most comforting thing now is that ringing sound in my snapping mind.
I'm growing up, but I don't want to just yet, they're pushing me, they want me to bend for them, do backflips and headstands in the decaying candlelight.
I miss when not everything had a consequence,
When the hardest decision I had to make was what I wanted to eat for breakfast.
When the most pain I ever felt was the slander of school kids.
When I was so small and everyone made decisions for me.
I don't want to hurt her...
I want her with me, forever and always, but I can't take her away.
She has so many ties...
She has people to make proud.
She has a future to look forward to.
The bravest girl I ever met, with the heart of a lioness and the voice of an angel.
God, I adore you.
The cigarettes are having really bad effects on my body.
I'm not even enjoying them anymore.
Are these signs I should give up?
But I'm proud! But I'm neurotic! But I'm obsessive compulsive!
The storylines are weaving all around me, relationships grow and change and fade away.
Happiness comes in a little piece of cardboard that goes on your tongue...
Insanity comes in the same package.
Gah, I can't concentrate...

1 comment:

  1. I shall contact you when i get homeabout time and date.
    sorry to make you think you got a real comment.