And so, after reading through these blogs, I come to the conclussion that this is nowhere near my full potential. I know very well what I am capable of, and whilst art and discovery lay amongst my previous works, it is surely not the best I can be.
I have grown so much, more then I ever thought possible. Just one year ago, I was a trembling little rabbit incabable of speech, a little girl lacking in pride and full of shame. I was a nobody, a nothing, and while I had all of the right instruments within me to be great, I lacked the motivation and the confidence.
A year later, and I am a young woman with no shame and an abundance of pride. I know who I am, and by the Gods, am I proud to be this. If only you could see me now, fallen Angel. If only we could share words now, Doctor A. If only we could be alone together now, Mad Hatter. If only you would take me back, demon of knowledge.
A lifetime of tragedy and pain, cause and effect, has left me with an understanding of how cruel this world can be, and a need to do what I can to repair it, to help the others understand and to at the very least, create smiles on the pretty faces. Myself and my girlfriend are entirely alike in our tastes, we like the same music, the same drugs, the same people, the same kind of sex... But it is our passions that are so varied, and many people fail to see that this is what sets us apart.
I am assertive, proud, stubborn, angry and passionate.
She is passive, indifferent, stubborn, apathetic and submissive.
My opinions and passions matter to me a great deal in this life on this treasured earth. My heart cracks and aches as I watch the army of ants, mindless drones, flock of sheep wander on by without a care, living by the motto of "I may not agree with what is going on, I may see it is wrong, but there's not much I can do, so I'll try to accept it".
Wrong you are, how very wrong. You are the bystander in the destruction. History shows that one man (or woman) can in fact have a possitive (or negative) influence on the world, alone. There are many such types of people with this belief, and you choose to sit back in a world you know is wrong, not even raise your voice. You lack in passion.
By simply doing nothing, no right or wrong, you are supporting the wrong. There is a place in hell for those who do no wrong, and no right, according to Dante's Inferno. This is a place reserved for the fence-sitters, and whilst they never sinned, they sat back and watched, and did no good for their world, or anyone or anything in it.
I am not saying I truely believe in hell, but I do believe that the sins recited are such that we should try to stay clear. (Not all of them, obviously, such as being a non-believer). But there are words of wisdom in every faith, every belief.
You can do something. I do not know how the passive mind opperates, I myself never hesitating to raise my voice, and being deemed arrogant for it, but I would say indeed that by doing nothing at all, meerly getting by, surving, you are doing perhaps a far more terrible thing then by sinning yourself. There is at least creation in destruction, and at these the sinners would not waste their lives.
You see, in this modern age, for human beings, it isn't just about surving now. We must do much more then this on order to feel accomplished, in order to feel satisfied and comfortabe. I myself strive for comfortability, love and admiration. Above it all, however, is my desperate need to save this earth and each creature that inhaits it,to have a possitive influence on humanity and the future.
Now this may seem like a goal one woman alone could not fullfill, but this is not the case. As I stated, many solo beings have achieved great and terrible things since the dawn of Time, and I believe that if you are determined and passionate enough, anything is possible. It is a crucial point in history, and it is the most exciting possible moment we could hope to be alive.
I fight for love, which may be as redundant as trying to prevent deforrestation in a desert, but I shall not be crushed beneath them. I will not use violence, or harm anyone or anything, I haven't killed even a fly since I was a child. How to get te message across? How to spread the awareness? How to convince people that we can, and we will fight, for what we believe to be right?
I have been trying desperatly for a long time, and I will keep trying until the day that I die. I will continue to write, and sing, and speak of everything I ever learned, felt, thought, spoke. I will not sit back and watch myself be used and abused by a world that doesn't care! Perhaps you can live with yourself, perhaps when it's all said and done you'll lie, and say you did the best you could, knowing very well that you did nothing.
But you can do something, even the smallest steps count, even the quietest of whispers count, and eventually, they will have to hear us! They will not be ale to ignore us any longer, for we will rise from the ashes of the brave new world, and we will conquer the darkness with our eternal love & light!
This is what we were born to see, to witness the revolution, and not only witness it, but make our mark in history itself. We clench our fists, but we love unconditially. 'We are Anarchists of good taste, we are terrorists of untruths!'. Stand up, fight back for the soul they stole the moment you were born and do not... Do not suffocate that inner voice that wants to scream, let it be heard!
Calling all who have ever felt like there was something wrong with the world, felt like change was in order, felt unwanted, abused, mistreated, scammed, fucked over. Calling all who would wish to see a brighter future, who would wish to see a longer standing for our earth, who would wish to see our colors shine instead of being inked into a mist of black!
I will not stop, I will not rest, you will wake up, and when you do, you will know your purpose. The world is waiting.
All my love is with you.