Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Finding your way back to here

And just as I thought the serpent was dead, I felt its cold body constricting tightly around my throat, crushing. The headspin, vision blurred as my knees cripples under its hypnotic spell. What a way to welcome yourself back, I thought.

"Venomous voice tempts me, drains me, bleeds me, leaves me cracked and empty, drags me down like some sweet gravity".

Cold skin, encrusted with muddy stains. The needle sticks. As the calm frequency washes over, a waterfull cleansing your insides... Why do you forget about the outside so often?

I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know.

The serpent warns me to go, but he reminds me I can never leave, his grip tight as he pulls me closer to the edge of the world. We forget the earth is a sphere, we forger that the edge lacks in existance. And so, suddenly, I'm falling, and he'll go with me, for I belong to him.

Gently pulling myself up into his coils, the soft skin a weak sort of comfort, temporary, but so fucking secure I could die beside him and continue to live. Closed eyes, and the fluro parasites march across my skull. Leftovers, Serpent tells me, leftovers from your travels.

I know I must believe him, for he knows all. Oh, you demonic reptile. Why do you always have to be so right? And why can't you stay with me longer? I need you to drag me down again, against the cold tiles of a bloodstained bathroom. Someones blood. I know who's, but he's too far away to care if I bathe in it for a little while. Serpent told me to, he told me it would cleanse me.

I'm watching you drown. I told you, to swim back. But you wouldnt listen! And so I am no more. I will wait. The fastest way to learn to swim is to place a hungry shark in your path, though I'm sure you are surrounded, they're just invisible to the human eye.

I'm not the demon, or the angel. I am not the human, or the snake. I am no more.

I will bask in the rays of light with you, because you tell me it is good for me. And you are always right. You demonic Serpent... Emerald eyes, cheap disguise...

I could think of you all day, write for you, though I do not know what you are. You appear in my imagination as a serpent, a serpent who understand LSD, knows all and is a scheming, yet honest companion. I do not trust you, yet I seek your company and guidance each day, and you dissappeared for so long.

"And the snake is drowned and
As I look in his eyes,
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of those times".

Here comes the episode of lengthly regret, for now in this state of mind I miss the one I hated so much, I chose to slam my fist into his face. Here comes the episode of heroin. And thus returns the serpent, to guide me through these troubled times, through doorways in my thoughts, writing and dreams.

He will watch over me, for he knows all. The sinister little taunts do not bother me, for he will do no harm unless it is needed. I know this, for he told me so, and he never lies.

"You'll get out of this, little rabbit. In your eyes there is nothing, no information. You examined the objects in the grass and asked how much knowledge they contained, and was it worth it. You decided even if it were just a small dose of knowledge, it was still knowledge. And what I thought as I emerged from your eye sockets and used the glass panels as mirrors was... Was it me? You never will know, for what am I? I was created from the LSD, acted as a nightmare guidance, dissapeared through-out the simplicity... And here I am. I rotted away your eyes and fed off them for months, I'm here to give you your vision back. Now you will truley see. You fear me, yet so happy to see me, after all that".

I can only smile, for the demons... The demons are feeding off my heart, mind, body and soul, and oh, it feels so fucking good.

We're really fucking.

1 comment:

  1. Hmm. 'the episode of heroin'.
    That is very on point. Bravo.

    I also like 'flirtation'. It sounds cute, like we just went dancing together, like a little date.

    "How do you do, madam?"
    "Oh, I am quite all right, Mr. Heroin. What a splendid night for dancing!"
    "Oh, yes indeed, quite!"

    Heh. I like this comparison a lot.