Wednesday, March 11, 2009


The still sanctuary that you wanted so dearly to call home but never felt comfortable enough to do so. The unreliable friend who leaves you in the middle of nowhere with no way of getting ack to somewhere. The drugs you take to pick apart your mind.
"Do you really think by tearing up your brain, you'll understand it?"
Not anymore. But it doesn't matter anymore, because I've found a temporary stability in this insanity. It may not make sense to you, or me, or anyone, but I'm fairly sure that's the point. Though I couldn't be entirely sure it was the point for it would ruin the purpose and therefor, contradict the point!
Isn't it thrilling? Mind-blowing? LSD, anyone?
They keep asking me... What is it? I can not explain it to you, but everyone, yes, fucking Dr. Arrogant, seems to think it is simply a drug. It is not taking a drug and fucking yourself up, it is taking a journey of discovery. And it is comletely ridiculous to take these powerful things in to your system with the idea that it'll be fun. Because, though, oh, it can be, (how it can be), it wont always be.
The point of it all is to open your fucking tomb of a mind and let some light shine in! Quite literally, Im not being all cliche here, I'm talking about...
What am I talking about? That's right, I'm not permitted to know, and you are not able to understand.
"Do some fucking research".
A man named Carl Jung.
A man named Buddha.
A year of 2012.
Have you pictured it yet?
But anyways, lets move on from there because, let's face it, chanting on street corners isn't very attractive. (Fucking Christians).
However, anything beyond science is illogical and therefor, insane.
You know what? Fuck science.
Fuck faith, too.
I will wear my insanity with pride, or else, I will wear my brilliance with a smug grin. Either way, I still win, fucking losers.
Get in right, I'm in front, simply because I think I am. If I choose to think I am behind, I will know nothing. Though, I already know everything, I just haven't remembered it yet. Which, by this, I could be speaking of blueprints or else doing some warped thing with time in which all that will happen was a part of the past. Which, though it's hard to grasp, makes perfect sense when you think about it, since time is only a human creation and is easily manipulated.
However. Now I get to the stage of where I feel I am on a higher level, where I feel I must teach, save, enlighten. Where I feel I must frown down and make all the decisions. For no one can touch my intelligence, not a debate I couldn't win and not a situation I couldn't wiggle out of. I am untouchable, in my own mind, and as of this moment, I am the only thing in my own mind. When I leave my mind, I know someone is ready to prove me wrong, but hey, I CAN NOT BE PROVED WRONG BECAUSE I AM INFALLIBLE.
However, this goes against my own beliefs. Hmmm. 'Nothing is infallible, everything can be proved wrong'. So, in which case, I deem myself as nothing, which would mean, since I am nothing, I do nto exist and therefor, am untouchable. And, with my untouchable force, I can TOUCH everybody else, manipilate them in whichever way I choose.
Is there a mental illness for a person believing they are God? Or should I stop this hypocrisy and admit to my arrogance?
Oh, dear. I believe I have typed up an entire blog about my brilliance.
This is unnatural.

Oh, fuck.


  1. I agree with you perfectly on the 'LSD should not be taken in the sport of fun, but in self discovery' part, because I think that yes, trips are not designed for parties, and out of all the drugs I have taken, they are the most inward...

    However, I do not agree with you when you say that time is a man made construct... Because things go on, and always have gone on. Without the knowledge of time, a man will still grow old, and even after he is dead, and we are all dead, and there is nothing left to grow or die-- things will still go on...

    perhaps you should dwell for a while on time during your next most intense trip? Or on a nice hit of dimity :)


  2. In order to teach, enlighten etc
    You must first learn.
    Which means listening to someone other than yourself.
    You are really failing this, although, I'm sure a lot gets through, but you try hard not to show it.
    Oh dear. She hates her own humanity. And why not? being human sucks.
    But you can only pretend you're a god until you are hurt, in trouble
    or hungry.

  3. Jesus Christ.
    This is the most INSANE logic I have ever seen. I am so confused. I am so, so, so confused. The more I tried to follow, the deeper it went, and... oh, gods, did I really think like this!? HOW!? How the hell was I able to manage!??!?

    No, no, no.
    This is awful.

    I mean. Shit. My head hurts.

    Brilliant? I don't know, probably not. You say a lot of bullshit things, past me.

    Insane? UH HUH. And there IS logic, mad logic. Fuckin' a = b so b = infinity logic.

    a = b so b = something? I mean, you're not wrong?

    FUCK. You've driven your future self bat shit, past me.

    Well fucking done. D: