The little rabbit. She's suffocating in the drible society spits, and she's forgotten how to swim. Theyre all in too much panic to help her out of the water and I'm scared to tell her, I'm not her teacher, her friend, her mother, her lover. I'm not as all-knowing as I sometimes feel. In fact, I know nothing about anything.
"Admit it now while you still can".
Okay, I'm an idiot, and a hypocrite, a manipulative bitch and a peice of shit.
"But that's not all".
Enough with the negativity, brain! I've heard slash seen enough in the past few days, Im quite content for now.
I breathed for him. I knew nothing of what to do. I was terrified, but they didn't seem to care. And I spoke to his semi-concious form as he drooled and twitched, choking, flailing. All I could do was shed a tear and suddenly, start hoping, praying.
So funny, I believe not in any form of God, and I despise science, yet I suddenly, though Im still aware of how much I believe NOT, always turn to one of the two in desperate situations. Does this prove I am insecure and need a higher being or an intelligent book to guide me through?
Maybe I'm unsure of what I believe in.
"Keep an open mind"
I am, I am, but at the moment I wish for you to SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE.
Stop interrupting me!
I'm busy ranting.
A cold night, surrounded by silence in someone elses home, while he bends and twists between fluro lights and loses his previous state of mind to little peices of poison candy. He was waiting so long, I never waited for this. I didnt care for this, but nor would I care for beats of havoc and a diluted mind.
I want the enhanced mind, bring it to me. Maybe I'm looking to hard, and maybe LSD is playing tricks on me.
The heart-heart-heart plans on spoiling me the day I graduate from childhood and become a legal adult. Less than a month, but so many days til I inhale spirituality.
You may declare I'm not ready, but who the fuck ARE you but a flea?
The days are getting more pathetic. I watch her turn insane and I long to scream at them all, too, let them know just how fucking worthless they are. But I hold back, because I need them for a little while longer. Besides, as much as I hate them for being human, I love them. I couldn't express the hate without having to even it up again, so why not just shut the fuck up and it all stays how I want it to be?
Lets all accept it's coming. You can feel the change, Im sure. And so, you know something is going to happen. I despise the burning sensation in my chest and the slow on-coming of each second as it spirals down, back in to the Devil's pit.
And Im sorry I'm not a good listener. Im sorry I'm 'failing' to accept everything you've ever told me. But please, don't think I havent learned from you, from everyone. I just think I may be right about certain things, and though I'll consider what you say, the time my mind has to mull over a certain thing, I come up with far better points than you can in a few lines over the internet.
I know you feel that I'm 'getting there, just need to listen more'. I know you feel that you've 'all been there before, we're over that now'. But believe me, you were never at this stage, and I'll never get to your stage, for we, though some would disagree, are different people, seperate minds.
And though, as of late, I've found synchronization within dreams, you still can't see ME as I see me, and I will never see YOU as you see you.
You think I have nothing to teach? You think because my knowledge doesn't come from the books of another, that what I have to say isn't valid? Well, those books you study, the people who came up with those theories thought for themselves, at least to an extent. Sure, they listened and considered...
But... Well. I like philosophy, and if you cared to listen to ME like you so blindly listened to THEM... You'd see I do have something to teach.
You are no better than me. You are to you, as I am to me, but neither of us is right. Never just one side to the story, friend. Please try and understand I'm not as innocent, helpless and thoughtless as I may appear.
To sum it all up, shit is getting hectic. I don't wish to help or save anymore, I'm sick of being tossed aside. You do not want my advice/help, I can not/will not force it on you, and so, since the FUCKING MAJORITY RULES ( though its the minority thatcarries the ides), I choose to leave it and bask in my arrogance for a little while, then have a giggle at your stupidity, then realize...
Every time I'm angry, I think I'm right!
I'll admit to my idiocy again when I'm in a better mood.