Silhouette encrusted in a memory, that special one of when we were thirteen and you showed me how to bleed. And you showed me how easy it was to lose control. Erotic asphyxiation of the mind. You showed me how easy it was to disappear. How easy it was to admit to your non-existance.
I could've turned back right then, but I was young and so eager to fit in. And that was years ago now, I'm a different person... But I hesitate to call myself a person anymore. I hesitate to look at myself, to compare myself, in case I remember what I've disentegrated into. Ashtray.
I am abstract obliterate, and nothing more.
When the clouds hovering over head are a conspiracy (probably because we've taken too much acid), it all falls into place in my open hands, extended to the sunshine. I am dead. I am dead. I am dead. I know this, I've seen The Fine Line. This is my proof. But I am not dead, for I still fear death. I still seek death. I am abstract obliterate, nothing more.
We are not actresses. I could've fooled the world, had I not stopped to take a breath and blocked Him out for good. For he is a mindeater. And I am tempted to let him in for a quick hello, for how I miss his soft, green and black, yellow-eyed appeal. He was simply beautiful, in all his demonic structure. He was a teacher, and a murderer. He was a mindeater, and I am his virgin.
I could've learned great things, but instead I feel so refreshed. Like the edge of the world... The edge of the mind! Sticking to the membrane. Ok, ok, the world is all a manifestation of your mind. Keep it that way. Never let it become to real, or you may evaporate. I am abstract obliterate, nothing more.
"Candy, my child? I am not a stranger, I am a friend. I've missed you, I never meant to frighten you away. I'm sorry, but you said so yourself, your blood tastes so sweet on my tongue. I miss it. Cut yourself for me. Cut yourself and let the chemicals bleed out".
No. You will have me no more. You could help me, but you will eat me. I am abstract obliterate, nothing more.