Thursday, April 9, 2009


And, it's immature.
Bringing ourselves further and further to childhood, is this some race? We can not escape death, reach immortality. Only holes in the brain. Why don't we get it? We love the pretty colors, the melting time, the little grin and the sense of satisfaction we get, after two thousand kg's of knowledge are crammed in to our head in the course of six hours. Get fucked. When you suddenly remember who you were, you realize you're wasting your time. You think you're so different now, in a good way. You think you've gotten somewhere. Really, you can't focus. You can't think beyond it. You know how much you suddenly hate yourself.
He said, "Ferret, everything about you has changed. Your eyecolor, skin color", and he didn't like it.
I'm not saying I'm going to stop, I'm not even going to consider it, I'm just going to say that I should, probably, one dose got me all I'll ever get, unless I want the holes, unless I want the glares my lover gets, to be the topic of conversation.
I don't even want to stop, because I don't give a FUCK about anything anymore! Don't you see how wrong this is? It's not Zen, it's laziness!
I've lost the plot.


  1. No you haven't. You're full of shit.
    If you really lost the plot you'd stop blogging and dive in front of a train on 15 tabs.
    Which by the way, i take no responsibility for, if you do.

  2. Well, I'm sorry, Regardless of your wishes, I have not a taste for suicide, or the desire to take 15 tabs, ever, to 'take the risk'. I'm hardly full of shit, I know myself well enough to see when I've gone wrong, and this is now. If you've really grown tired of me and my writings, cut yourself loose, I have no objections. I don't mind the fact you're basically telling me to kill myself, that's as meaningful as someone telling me to space travel, we both know I'll never do it. What I do mind, is the accusations. You clearly can not understand this shit, and I'm terribly sorry I'm not your average 15 tabs a day bloke.

  3. You know i know you won't kill yourself, 'bloke' ;)
    I was TRYING to re-assure you.
    You know everything you need to know, for example, that one dose got you all you were going to get. You also know there's no need to stop, it's why you keep going. I'm pretty comfortable by now that you know i do understand 'this shit' and that I'm never Angrier than i am Proud of you.
    And if the holes let the dark in stead of the light in, you'll just be wasted. So what? thousands of lives are wasted. And you've achieved more than those LOSERS who eat acid every day, anyway.
    Because your works were published.

  4. Hehe. 'bloke'.
    These comments are better than the post. <3

    Hey, you failed to read the warnings, and you paid for it. But it's okay. I'm here. You made it.

    Do you here me, past me? YOU MAKE IT.
    And the more I say shit like that, the happier I am about the fact. :3