Saturday, April 18, 2009

Pre-Connection.

She is a part of my fractal, illuminating what seems like forever with the glint of her tears. I'm sitting with the wine in my hands, listening to him and her and feeling like nothing else matters, like a trip in a confined area. The world outside is gone.
They come and go, and I wonder if it ever happened. She assures me I exist, it's refreshing. We crush the flowers with no reasons, n0 thought, no regrets. It is perfect, like I would never have pictured while I waited in the sunlight for her to appear and take me away.
Suddenly the problems never mattered, and matter all too much at the same time, and I am me, the person ou read, for the first time, viewed in public in the longest of years. I am back, and with me washes away the paint they used to cover up what they lacked. Everyone takes on a new image in my vision.
Like the crumble of the cigarette, I throw away my addictions and welcome something solid. Me. Them. I am here and they will keep me here, because I will let them.
At some point today, while everything seemed to be an illusion, observing but not being, I was CONNECTED. Within myself, maybe. Not perhaps with the outside world, but at least the puzzle pieces have joined.
A child will pull them apart again, to start a new game, since this is my life goal. But there. I know I can be. I will find the world and me, all of me, together one day.

2 comments:

  1. I can be?
    Oh, I am excited!

    Heh, kind of related, but now when I comment, it's asking me if I'm a robot... because I'm commenting so much. And, you know, I wasn't sure for a second. O.o

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