Thursday, April 9, 2009

The edge of the mind.

Inside, crumbling in the ashtray. Something happened, I found the cure, now I'm getting sick again. Mental addiction. I'm going to end up like my lover, aren't I? I thought I was so right... But I've gone wrong. Knock me out of this Godfeeling, it isn't me. Pure, hand-flapping guinea-pig genius. I think I need help, but there's no such thing. I lost everyone I ever cared about, and anyone who ever cared about me by escaping what I thought was so bad, but it was total bliss. Pause time, and watch it all and see how I did it, find the cracks before I slip through. I don't want to die, but I'm not sure I can escape it. Life is some oldschool game with no checkpoints, He could tell me all about that. I think that is where I went wrong. Rambling, no idea what I'm going to write next, and I want to stop, it's hurting me everytime I read something and feel I should delete it. Not so far away now, but I've realized I'm not even ready. Holy shit, I wish I could back out. I wish I had listened. I don't want this anymore... But then, I don't want anything. Just me, maybe my lover, for one last moment... Then I'm through. Find me, I'm missing, have you seen this girl? DO I EVEN EXIST ANYMORE? Dreaming of supermarkets and the circulating lies, as if I've done something wrong. I never did anything wrong by anyone else, unless it was a mistake, but then, I am the biggest mistake I ever made. WHAT IS THIS? 'Hi, I hope all's okay'. Little tramp. Cuntscab. Fall off the edge of the world and drown in my anger. You're the only person I hate more than myself.


  1. Wow, you're deep, too.. just like that Magenta faggot.
    Why do you write this? If you're not bitching about your dealer you're "writing as a form of self-expression" or being RANDOM~ or using made-up words.

    "Hardcore scene faggots pretending to be scientists, philosophers and... Doofers."

    I can't think of a better way to sum up this abuse of free speech than the above sentence. What's the difference between you pretending to be a philosopher and a "hardcore scene faggot" (which you SO TOTALLY aren't, no matter what your MySpace looks like) doing the same thing?

    Anyway, this is nothing personal. I was just going through the blogs of all your idiot friends when I found... Ferret! Long time no talk, kid. Glad to see you haven't changed a bit.

    -A TeenChat troll you probably don't remember

  2. I just got called an idiot by a "TeenChat troll"
    This is nothing personal, but if i ever meet you, i'll break pieces of yourself that you don't even know the names of.
    Despite that, i agree she dribbles shit, but i'm too anxious about her continued survival to lash out about it.

  3. Got me, no idea who you are, but it doesn't matter, I've clearly pointed out I have no idea what I'm doing anymore, this includes writing, so anything I say is basically made up on the spot. All the DEEEEEEP blogs, garbage. It never WAS anything, not even at the start, I just thought it was. Now, regardless, the initial shock that I could actually type at all has worn off, people can see how much utter shit, shit that repeats itself and whatnot, is on this blog thing.
    Happy ending.

  4. I wanted to comment & be like 'wow, so deep', but, uh, the TC troll kinda covered my thoughts, past me. I am disappointed.

    I am even MORE disappointed by the defeatist attitude present in your response, past me. You dickhead.

    Only thing I'm impressed by is NR's total badassery. Maaaaaaaate.