Thursday, April 9, 2009

The edge of the mind.

Inside, crumbling in the ashtray. Something happened, I found the cure, now I'm getting sick again. Mental addiction. I'm going to end up like my lover, aren't I? I thought I was so right... But I've gone wrong. Knock me out of this Godfeeling, it isn't me. Pure, hand-flapping guinea-pig genius. I think I need help, but there's no such thing. I lost everyone I ever cared about, and anyone who ever cared about me by escaping what I thought was so bad, but it was total bliss. Pause time, and watch it all and see how I did it, find the cracks before I slip through. I don't want to die, but I'm not sure I can escape it. Life is some oldschool game with no checkpoints, He could tell me all about that. I think that is where I went wrong. Rambling, no idea what I'm going to write next, and I want to stop, it's hurting me everytime I read something and feel I should delete it. Not so far away now, but I've realized I'm not even ready. Holy shit, I wish I could back out. I wish I had listened. I don't want this anymore... But then, I don't want anything. Just me, maybe my lover, for one last moment... Then I'm through. Find me, I'm missing, have you seen this girl? DO I EVEN EXIST ANYMORE? Dreaming of supermarkets and the circulating lies, as if I've done something wrong. I never did anything wrong by anyone else, unless it was a mistake, but then, I am the biggest mistake I ever made. WHAT IS THIS? 'Hi, I hope all's okay'. Little tramp. Cuntscab. Fall off the edge of the world and drown in my anger. You're the only person I hate more than myself.

4 comments:

  1. Wow, you're deep, too.. just like that Magenta faggot.
    Why do you write this? If you're not bitching about your dealer you're "writing as a form of self-expression" or being RANDOM~ or using made-up words.

    "Hardcore scene faggots pretending to be scientists, philosophers and... Doofers."

    I can't think of a better way to sum up this abuse of free speech than the above sentence. What's the difference between you pretending to be a philosopher and a "hardcore scene faggot" (which you SO TOTALLY aren't, no matter what your MySpace looks like) doing the same thing?

    Anyway, this is nothing personal. I was just going through the blogs of all your idiot friends when I found... Ferret! Long time no talk, kid. Glad to see you haven't changed a bit.

    -A TeenChat troll you probably don't remember

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  2. I just got called an idiot by a "TeenChat troll"
    This is nothing personal, but if i ever meet you, i'll break pieces of yourself that you don't even know the names of.
    Despite that, i agree she dribbles shit, but i'm too anxious about her continued survival to lash out about it.

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  3. Got me, no idea who you are, but it doesn't matter, I've clearly pointed out I have no idea what I'm doing anymore, this includes writing, so anything I say is basically made up on the spot. All the DEEEEEEP blogs, garbage. It never WAS anything, not even at the start, I just thought it was. Now, regardless, the initial shock that I could actually type at all has worn off, people can see how much utter shit, shit that repeats itself and whatnot, is on this blog thing.
    Happy ending.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I wanted to comment & be like 'wow, so deep', but, uh, the TC troll kinda covered my thoughts, past me. I am disappointed.

    I am even MORE disappointed by the defeatist attitude present in your response, past me. You dickhead.

    Only thing I'm impressed by is NR's total badassery. Maaaaaaaate.

    ReplyDelete